This is a blog series discussing my journey of preparing for our second child. I’m really determined to look into “Sperm Spinning” to guarantee the gender of my second without having to fork out big bucks for IVF when I’m perfectly healthy.
Part 1: Being open and honest about initially being disappointed about the gender of my first child. (Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have it any other way now.)
Let’s talk about gender reveals for a second…. I think they are so much fun. I mood boarded for days about the best creative ways to reveal the gender of our baby (on Instagram or Pinterest). Some fun easy inspiration were popping a balloon or cutting open a cake to reveal a blue or pink color. I also came across some hilarious videos where they went horribly wrong by having neutral colors come out (see image above). Being my first child, I wanted some big surprise way of finding out the gender but my husband’s thought it was unnecessary which was disappointing. Geeez, such a party pooper!!! Our compromise was that the doctor called my husband and he could organize something fun for me. So “when” and “where” I would find out was going to my a mystery too.
I remember the gender reveal day like no else….. One morning my husband decided we should go out for breakfast at a local diner in Los Angels. Thinking nothing of it, I jumped in the car and I noticed something in the corner of my eye in the back seat. I turned around slightly to notice the whole back seat of the car had been completely filled with blue balloons. (Our windows in our car are sooooo dark tinted so I could not see the ballons hiding in there before I got in the car). A second later my husband climbed into the car and with a big smile on his face told me to look behind me (not knowing I had just seen them). I turned around and actually processed that there were “Blue” balloons behind me, meaning I am having a boy.
So how did I feel about having a boy? To be honest, through this smile in the photo, I was completely bummed! I really thought from the time we were trying to this moment that I might be having a girl. I had dreams about her when she was grown up too. I had already splurged my spare time and thoughts on looking at baby girl dresses and room decor, deciding what heirlooms I would pass down to her (She would wear my first baby dress and I would let her wear my wedding jewelry on her wedding day) and be imagining taking her to dance classes, helping her through her first pregnancy and all that! We already picked out a name for her- Ella. Maybe her middle name could be Patricia after my mum. I know, I know, I know…. I definitely thought about things a little too much than most people.
….And then all that imagining was all taken away by the reality of those blue balloons. The perceived reality of feeling like a tomboy mom, freezing outside watching a sport I don’t like and a dirty boy room smells started to fill my imagination. Pretty nieve huh?! When you ask my husband about that day he would tell you how awkward that breakfast was because my energy was really off. I was trying to hard to pretend I didn’t care, but I really did. I remember trying to fight back tears at one point.
Over the next few weeks, I was open and honest about how I felt to a few trusted family and friends who all thought it was wonderful that I was having a boy. Some said “Boys are closer and snuggly to their mums growing up“, “He can look after his younger sister“, and that he “may be just like his daddy, who you love the most in the world“. With more and more thought, I completed one-eighty degree changed my view and was so glad that I was having a boy first. I could not even imagine it being any other way now.
So now my son is 21 months old as I am writing this. I feel so nieve about how I thought my life would be having a boy. From the minute I laid eyes on my son in the hospital, I have loved every second with him, every inch of him and it keeps getting better and better. Our little boy brings so much joy to our family that my husband and I even lightly discussed not needing to have a second! Our little boy is super smart and of loves all the typical the boy stuff like trucks, trains, and stuff and it’s perfect. Every week we run outside and follow the rubbish trucks around a few blocks in our neighborhood to watch them get emptied. The driver knows him well now and honks when he sees him. But he also has a love of cooking, animals, and hiking, so he shares some of my interests too. Insert wink face here!!!!!
My husband and I are thinking of trying for another at the end of the year and it got me pretty stubborn about the idea that the next baby has to be a girl! I only want two children and therefore there is so much weighing on this gender. I know some of you may be thinking “Who cares what the gender is, you will love them regardless”. That is very true, I will love both my children with my full heart whatever their gender is. But this is MY “ideal” dream. It stems from my circumstances from my childhood and thinking about special traditions I can pass down to her in the future.
So it turns out that gender is not played to chance like flipping a coin. There is science on my side and no, I’m not talking about IVF.
Look out for my next blog post coming out soon: Part 2: Learning all the facts and inquiring into “Sperm spinning”.